Spiritual readings        "Greetings from Whittier Presbyterian Church"

Email of Jan 12, 2001

 Henri J. M. Nouwen was a prolific writer of things spiritual who died a few years ago while still at the height of his powers.  In his little book “Life of the  Beloved; Spiritual Living in a Secular World” he has this to say about on of our greatest struggles in life.

 “Over the years, I have come to realize that the greatest trap in our lives is not success, popularity or power, but self-rejection.  Success, popularity and power can, indeed, present a great temptation, but their seductive quality often comes from the way they are part of the much larger temptation to self-rejection.  When we have come to believe in the voices that call us worthless and unlovable, then success, popularity and power are easily perceived as attractive solutions.  The real trap, however, is self-rejection.  I am constantly surprised at how quickly I give in to this temptation.  As soon as someone accuses me or criticizes me, as soon as I am rejected, left alone or abandoned, I find myself thinking:  “Well, that proves once again that I am a nobody.”  Instead of taking a critical look at the circumstances or trying to understand my own and others’ limitations, I tend to blame myself—not just for what I did, but for who I am.  My dark side says:  “I am no good….I deserve to be pushed aside, forgotten, rejected and abandoned.”

 I was struck at the similarity of Nouwen’s language here and the language of many of the Psalms.  The premise of the rest of Nouwen’s book is how God want us to know and more and more become the beloved children of God that we are.  No easy task that, but Nouwen is able to write about it as well as anyone I know.  When the Psalms use that language they always turn to God for help and by the end of the particular psalm, they often give praise to God for the lifting of the spirit that one needs.

Do you take your doubts and fears to God in prayer?  It is no quick fix, but the more you can cultivate the habit of lifting your sense of self-rejection to God, the less powerful or long-lasting you will find that temptation to self-rejection.

May God bless you with a lightening of your burdens this day.

Grace & peace

Geoff