Talking to children about war.

Courtesy of Wisconsin Lutheran Child & Family Service, Inc.

www.wlcfs.org Used with permission.

Dear Christian Parent

The reality of war brings feelings of fear, anger, confusion and unsettledness to both parents and children. Here are some helps for you and your family in this difficult time.

Basic Scriptural understandings

God made the world by God’s word. It was perfect, no sin, no sickness, no war. See Genesis 1:1-31
Sin came into the world and destroyed what was perfect. Now there was evil, wickedness, hatred and war. See Genesis 3:1-19.
God sent Jesus to be the Savior from sin and evil. See John 3:16-17.
God keeps evil from his children. See Psalm 121:1-8
When evil happens, God will help us through it and good can come from evil with God’s help. See Psalm 23, I Corinthians 10:13 & Romans 8:28. Review the life of Joseph in Genesis 37 to 50 to see how God brings good out of evil.
We don’t always understand what God does or why. See Isaiah 55:8-9

Emotional Responses

Your child may respond with some of the following emotions.

Fear – Are we going to be bombed? What if we lose the war? Will my dad or mom have to fight?
Anger – Why are we dropping bombs on these people? I don’t want to hear about this!
Confusion – Are people really dying or is this all made up? Isn’t it wrong to kill people?
Unsettledness – How long will this go on? Where will the people live if their house is bombed? What if a bomb went off near our house?

Emotional Encouragement

Listen to your child’s emotional responses. Encourage them to talk about their feelings. Provide them with encouragement, comfort and security. Here are some suggested scripture references.

God is in control – Genesis 8:22, Matthew 19:26.
God will help – Psalm 50:15, I Peter 5:7, Psalm 18:29.
God protects – Psalm 59:1, 2 Timothy 4:18.
God always loves – Jeremiah 31:3, Psalm 36:7, Psalm 6:4.

Other things to consider

A hug, a kiss, the words “I love you” will help lessen worry and bring comfort
Admit that you don’t have all the answers to what is going on.
Validate your child’s fears and worries, but also give them assurance they will be safe.
Don’t allow the topic of war to become a major topic in family discussions ( at least when children are present).
Limit the amount of TV coverage you child sees.
Pray with your children. Pray for the safety of those in the military and for government leaders (and for all the civilians caught in the middle.)

This material was prepared by John Juern, PhD, a licensed psychologist and school psychologist, and was distributed by Christian Family Counseling, a division of Wisconsin Lutheran Child & Family Service, Inc. Dr Juern encourages you to call him if you have further questions. His number is 1-800-438-1772.

Dr. Juern has given us permission to use this material on our website. Thank you, Dr. Juern.